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Ban Ni Yi Cheng

 
 
 

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【美文诵读】第70课: the reward of solitary life 独身生活的回报  

2016-05-14 21:45:30|  分类: 【英语】阅读 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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 For me the most interesting thing about a solitary life,and mine has been that for the last twenty years,is that it becomes increasingly rewarding.When I can wake up and watch the sun rise over the ocean, as I domost days, and know that I have an entire day ahead,uninterrupted, in which to write a few pages, take a walk with my dog,lie down in the afternoon for a think (Why does one think better in a horizontal position?), read and listen to music, I am flooded with happiness.

I am lonely only when I am overtired, when I have worked too long without a break, when for the time beingI feel empty and need filling up.And I am lonely sometimes when I come back home after a lecture trip, when I have seen a lot of people and talked a lot,and am full to the brim with experience that needs to be sorted out.

Then for a little while the house feels huge and empty, and I wonder where myself is hiding.It has been recaptured slowly by watering the plants, perhaps, and looking again at each one as though it were a person,by feeding the two cats, by cooking a meal.

It takes a while, as I watch the surf blowing up in fountains at the end of the field,but the moment when the world falls away,and the self emerges again from the deep unconsciousness,bringing back all I have recently experienced to be explored and slowly understood,when I can converse again with my hidden powers,andso grow, and so be rewarded, till death do us part.

对我而言,独身生活中最有趣的——也是我最近20年以来深有体会的——就是它使生活变得越来越有情调了。当我早展醒来看到太阳从大海上冉冉升起的时候——尽管我几乎每天都是如此——我就知道面前将有没人打搅的整整一天时间了。在这一天里,我可以悠闲地写几页文章,可以带着狗散散步,午后还可以躺下来思考思考问题(为什么平躺的时候更加有利于思考呢?),看看书,听听音乐,心中洋溢着快乐之情。

只有在我过度疲劳的时候,或是在我工作太久而没有休息的时候,或是在我当时觉得空虚因而需要充实的时候,我才会感到孤独。而有时,当我在外地演讲后赶回家的时候,当我和许多人见面并且交谈甚多的时候,当许多经历多得要溢出来,因而需要整理的时候,我才会感到孤独。

那个时候,房子一度让人觉得太大、太空,而我却不知道自我藏身于何处。也许通过给花草浇水,并对其逐一端详,好像端详人一样;也许通过喂那两只猫和做一餐饭,我才能又慢慢捕捉到自我了。

过了 一会儿,我看到地平线的尽头海浪如泉水般喷涌,那一刻,世界消逝殆尽了,而自我从深层的无意识中再一次浮现,这才使我想起最近所经历的一切,让我去探究、去愎慢了解。此时,我又能与隐藏的力量交流了,于是我又在成长,并在成长中得到回报,直到死亡将我们分开。


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